Claire
Our positive birth story.
If you are navigating or processing a birth that didn’t unfold the way you had hoped, perhaps skip this one for now and return once you feel ready. Big love, as always to anyone who may find these words difficult to read right now. I share this as a reminder that physiological birth is possible and to help spread the message that birth is a natural process. It is not something to fear or medicalise the way we have been conditioned to believe unless necessary (and how wonderful to have access to a medical system for when things don’t unfold the way we plan). This is OUR story and there is no right or wrong. Birth can unfold however the birthing woman chooses, wherever she and her family feel safe and sometimes unfortunately happens the way we don’t want it to at all. For us, we felt safe at home and how grateful we are that it was truely beautiful and felt magical 14th Feb 2024 Valentines Day ~ also known as the day of love. Little did anyone know at the time, one of the meanings behind our little girls name is ‘love’. We had a feeling she would begin to try to enter the world on this day. My fiancé and I woke up at 3am for no other reason than we both felt so ready to meet our girl. We stayed in bed until 6am then decided to get up and have a beautiful morning together. Baraka had been going to work every morning but we wanted to keep the oxytocin flowing as it is an important hormone for labour. We walked across the beach with our dogs, went for a peaceful dip in the Rockpool, then went for breakfast and a coffee. During this time, I started working through some sensations but didn’t want to get too excited just yet. I started silently and loosely timing them, coming every 20 minutes. On our walk home across the sand, I let Baraka know I thought something was starting to happen. We arrived home and knew we were in early labour, with these sensations coming more frequently and lasting longer. We have such fond memories of this early part of labour, doing everything to keep the oxytocin flowing. Cuddling our doggies and each other, dancing in the kitchen, loving on each other, listening to our favourite music and even watching a movie which we don’t often do. Long Story Short is the movie we watched and it’s honestly the best labour movie if that’s something that feels good to you. Lots of laughs, happy tears and such a good life lesson before bringing a baby into the world. We tried to have a nap or at least a rest in bed which was a challenge with our excitement building. At 5:30pm Baraka inflated the birth pool and finished setting up our birth space, exactly how we wanted it. During this time, I continued working through the sensations while using heat packs, TENS machine, movement with purpose, continued drinking lots of fluids and had a nourishing meal because we didn’t know how long it would be until I felt like eating again and sustenance is definitely needed! As the waves kept coming closer together and lasting longer, our doula, Kaitlyn arrived at 8pm. Needing more comfort, I moved into the birth pool. From this point forward, I called Baraka and Kaitlyn my birth fairies, doing everything to keep me comfortable, hydrated and getting everything I needed. Especially keeping the water warm and applying pressure to my lower back as each surge came. They also read my beautiful birth affirmations out loud and birth intentions from my loved ones which I loved. Our first midwife, Tracy arrived after 11pm as we felt everything was progressing and I was working with every expansive feeling, coming every couple of minutes. 15th Feb 2024 This continued until 4am, where everything slowed down and spaced out again. A very normal part of labour, as my body was exhausted from being awake for over 24 hours. Tracy suggested trying to allow my body to rest so I left the pool and went to bed. I wasn’t able to sleep during this time as the surges kept coming every couple of minutes. Everyone else had a much needed sleep. During this time, I remember feeling ‘alone’ and not sure how much longer I could keep going. I found strength to change my mindset and I reminded myself that no one else is going to do this for me. It’s me and my baby working together to bring her down and into the world. That everything is happening exactly as it should be. That she is coming to us in just the right time and in just the right way. I tuned into the sound of the waves that were roaring, as it was an overcast, rainy night with no other sound around. As my next surges came, I visualised them coming and going, just as the waves outside built up, peaked, crashed onto the shore and made their way peacefully back out to the ocean, just to happen all over again moments later. My reminder from Mama Earth that birth is natural, women have been doing this for thousands of years, that nothing lasts forever and to ride that wave. Everyone woke and Tracy left at 6am to get some much needed rest. The sun had risen, everyone felt somewhat refreshed and I had a new mindset. A new day and time to do this, time to meet our baby! Kaitlyn and Baraka emptied the cold water out of the pool and refilled it with warm water, so I could get back into the one place I felt most comfortable. No surprise that water was our saving grace, as I was swimming in the ocean every day through the last months of pregnancy to relieve pressure. Our other incredible midwife, Heidi arrived at 8:15am. Another welcome addition to the new day, fresh mindset, fresh face. Heidi offered acuneedling to help with potential malposition (we think bubs head wasn’t quite in the right position to move down the birth canal and perhaps causing her to stay where she was). After accuneedles were placed and Heidi putting pressure on the points near my shoulders with every surge, I started feeling the strong urge to ‘push’. I use this term loosely as pushing isn’t something that resonated with me. I knew my body would take over at this point and do most of it for me, which it did. What I focused on most during this time was slowing down the pushing sensation to prevent tearing. I could feel her head coming down with every expansion. Baraka joined me in the pool at this stage and helped me through every sensation. At 10am, my waters broke in the pool. Tracy arrived again, just as the top of her head was visible. I changed position in the pool so I could hold her head as she came down and out over the next few surges. 10:40am Holding her and slowing bringing her up, the cord was loosely around her neck, causing no trouble at all. Tracy calmly popped the cord away from her neck, so it was long enough for me to bring her out of the water and to my chest. As I brought her up, with Baraka sitting behind me, Aesha looked Baraka and I in the eyes and smiled. She didn’t cry, was so alert and like she was happy to be here exactly as she intended to arrive into this world. Oh and Selassie tried to jump in the pool the minute she was born, he’s always been her protector and was so happy she was finally here too! Aesha found my breast as we enjoyed these first precious moments as a family of five. I was helped out of the pool when the time felt right and moved to the couch where we continued with skin to skin time. Almost an hour after birth, we decided to tie and cut the cord as it had been white for quite a while, Aesha receiving everything she needed from the placenta. I cut the cord and then Baraka enjoyed skin to skin time with his daughter while I birthed our placenta with ease. A quick shower, and we were put to bed with our little girl on my chest. Also with fresh sheets, one of the nicest feelings in the world right after giving birth, thanks Kaitlyn! Our midwives and doula stayed to do only essential checks and tidy up our birth space, including emptying and taking the pool. They worked without us even noticing and our home was returned to its pre labour state. We were left to enjoy our bubble and stare at our girl, the biggest miracle in life. In total disbelief that she was in our arms and that our hearts could expand to love this little human so much and we only just met her. That we were able to experience the birth we manifested, hoped for, educated ourselves on and worked towards for many months, somehow being better than we could ever imagine. That physiological labour and birth is possible, even for first time Mama’s. Aesha has been an absolute dream newborn. Feeding incredibly well, sleeping, letting Mumma sleep and for the most part, being so relaxed. I truely believe this is partly because of how she came into the world. Not rushed, not forced and born into a calm, peaceful environment.
